Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Believe it or not I haven't forgotten Story #40...But first....

I have known what story #40 has been for quite some time....but seem to lack the ability to focus enough to write it. You see, I am in the middle of a divorce. It is amazing how it seems to take all of my brain power to merely exist. All acitivities beyond mere existence seem to be more challenging. It has also removed my ability to have any kind of short term memory. Kristen has now missed two orthodontic appointment....even when I remind her - I still forget.

The odd thing is, I frequently don't FEEL that stressed, but my life performance seems to be dropping major clues. The biggest? I have not been able to focus on reading. If you know me at all, you know that is bizarre. Reading has always been my escape, my stress release, my go to favorite activity. Now the words seem to sort of float around on the page. I focus for 1 to 2 pages and then the shut down sequence begins.

Now don't go thinking that I spend each day in a state of depression - because I don't. I alternate between happiness, sadness, anxiety and sometimes all 3 at once. I really am okay. I really do believe that, but then I get ready for a meeting and within 30 minutes have completely forgotten I have a meeting. Maybe it's not the divorce, maybe I, like many Americans over 40, am in a constant state of mini-stroke.

On the plus side, everyone I run into has to cock their head to the side when they ask how I am. And the way it gets asked always verges on the way you would talk to a two year old - so it's always entertaining. Some people require hugs and comforting...I guess you never realize how much your life affects (effects?) others. Some people are angry...am I supposed to apologize to them? Others offer advice, marriage therapist recommendations, etc. Been there, done that.

Bob and I are on good terms. This may sound strange, since we are divorcing, but we will still be co-parenting our fabulous kids for the rest of our lives. I can't imagine not being able to have calm and friendly discussions regarding the kids. Another plus? My family and friends have been incredibly supportive, kind and loving. This I am most grateful for.

This is a whole new chapter in my life. Definitely ample material for blogging. I have signed up for Voice-Over classes (I start next week!) I have also applied to go back to school....which I am very excited about.

So, Story #40 is just around the corner - but I want to explain my hiatus from the blogging world. And, remember to cock your head to the side as you leave your comment.