A quick work story:
A conversation between a few 4 & 5 year old boys:
Boy 1: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Boy 2: I'm gonna be Santa Clause!
Boy 1: You can't be Santa Clause! That's not a real job!
Boy 2: Yes it is!!! I give away toys. That's my job.
Boy 3: That's not a real job, 'cause you don't make any money, you just give it all away!
Boy 2: GRRRRRR!
I tend to be slightly delusional in many areas of my life. I frequently get shocked when I look in the mirror..."Who is that fat woman?" since when I peer down at myself it doesn't seem that bad. (Rosie O'Donnell called it the opposite of anorexia - thinking you are thinner than you really are.) Although the dieting is progressing...
When it comes to cars I didn't realize how delusional I was until my birthday party. I always think of myself as a good driver, after all I didn't get my first ticket until last year, and I really haven't been in any accidents......have I?
It turns out I have - but fortunately I was usually the only driver. So I am a great driver out on the street where there are other cars and drivers - but put me in a parking lot full of driver-less cars and watch out!!
Case #1: The summer after my freshman year in college, my church was putting on a big musical which both of my parents and myself were participating in. It just so happens that shortly after the rehearsals began I broke my right ankle. I was lucky enough - after a few days of crutches - to be put in a walking cast. (You should have seen me dancing!) The walking cast was cumbersome and heavy, but far better then spending the whole summer on crutches!
After rehearsal, one Saturday, I climbed in my mighty Pinto to drive home. As I slowly backed out of the parking space, my heavy right foot slipped off of the brake onto the gas pedal and WHAM! I hit something hard. I pulled on the emergency brake and stepped out of the car. I had managed to back into my parent's Camaro - which then rolled back and hit the family van. Did I mention that the 3 of us drove separately? In one fail swoop I managed to ding up all three of the family cars! Fortunately, the damage wasn't bad, but my normally mild mannered StepDad was less than thrilled.
Case #2- Shortly after Bob and I got married I drove his car to work. We always referred to it as "the mighty Jimmy," and it was a nice companion to the pinto - "Fred the Ford.") Well, I was driving the mighty Jimmy and went to workout after I finished work for the day. Still to this day I am not quite sure what happened.....I decided to take a short cut through a bank drive-thru and somehow lost control of the car - slamming into one of the concrete pylons. Don't worry - the concrete was okay - the Jimmy not so much. I was so scared to tell Bob! I found a pay phone (remember those?) and called him at work. I was sobbing on the phone. He waited patiently to find out what was going on - as I calmed myself down enough to tell him I was suddenly struck by how funny it was that I tried to drive through a drive-thru...get it? I know - but maybe I was in shock. So, as I told him I started to laugh hysterically (it's neat to be crazy) until I was almost in tears again. Just like my Dad in case #1 he was less than thrilled.
There happens to be one other story, but it's not very interesting. Suffice it to say - the mini-van ended up with the passenger side all scraped up. Sharp concrete corner in a parking garage drive way....I choose to blame the concrete.
If you are ever in a car with me you have absolutely nothing to fear! I save all my fender benders for my alone time. Need a ride?