Friday, June 26, 2009

Wow - I can't believe it's been a month!

I have been awful about posting lately - so here I am a month since my last post. A few random moments from the last month:

1. At Smiths an elderly woman (late 70s at least) was doing little can-can kicks as she pushed her grocery cart. She then proceeded to plop down on a nearby bench and do scissor kicks. I should have joined in...

2. My friend Stephanie proclaimed her son was going through the ukulele phase; as if this were a typical child development phase such as "the terrible twos".

3. My friend Cathy and I pulled into a parking lot, looked over at the car parked next to us where a man in a business suit was playing the recorder. Have you ever seen anyone over the age of 10 playing the recorder? It was fabulous.

4. At the end of my 2 year old parent/child class all the children ran up and started kissing me on the lips! Bob should be so jealous...

I had taken a long break from therapy, but I am back at it. I realized, thanks to the book Healing the Child Within, I just reached the beginning phase of true change and stopped - that is not a great stopping place. I am learning to find things that I truly enjoy doing. I know that sounds strange - but Steve (my therapist) is always talking about "living an authentic life," being my "true self" (don't you wish I was telling you this in person? look at all the air quotes I could be making) and I realized I have no concept what that means. So, I am rediscovering and discovering for the first time what activities energize me, help me feel creative and fulfilled. At those times it is my authentic self coming through. What are some of your energizing, creative moments? You may be surprised what it is - I reorganized my pantry last week and I still get excited looking in there. I have started to sewing again - I enjoy some sewing projects more than others and find that having to follow a pattern makes me a little grumpy. I also love watching "The Closer," but somehow I don't think that is what Steve had in mind....

3 comments:

Chris and Jenna Anderson said...

I love reading what you have to say and have been anxiously waiting for you to post again - so yea! I can't wait to see you in bugs class!

michelle said...

I love all of the moments you recorded here.

I can only imagine the difficulty in confronting everything that surfaces -- I had a taste of it during our talks at Snowbird and it is so uncomfortable! I applaud your courage and fortitude!

Things I truly enjoy: baking, reading, creating anything, knitting, sewing...

Jill said...

Welcome back!

I'm always a bit confused about the concept of an authentic self because I don't know what that means for me. I have a tendency to look back at times I thought I was happy (and thin) and think I might have been close then, but that can't be right because I was so clueless back then and so concerned about what everyone thought of me.

I hope you'll continue to share your break throughs and insights because I could really use some therapy!