Okay I do like gardening - but I liked it more when I didn't work because to get things how I want them requires a lot of time. Thursday last week I had a master gardener come to my house and give me some ideas. My front beds are rather unruly, while by back flower bed are empty and I needed some help. I have quite a few beds in my backyard - but they are pretty much all shade - so I was at a loss. Now I have a plan (I think) and I am going to do a little everyday. Saturday was my first day really working at cleaning up my front flower beds. Don't get the wrong idea, they are not full of weeds, rather out of control perennials. There are real estate phrases that we learn to avoid, such as, "handyman's dream", "Park like", "just needs a little tlc"; but no one talks about what to watch out for on those little plant labels. Seeds freely, great for naturalizing, self sowing, etc. What these really mean is: this cute little green plant will seek out every square inch of soil available and take over at such a speed that your yard will never be the same. I didn't know that when I planted and now I am attempting to rid my flower beds of not one, not two but three such plants!
While pulling out all of said plants I made a great discovery. The small saucers of beer I have been putting in my beds to organically kill the snails has merely been an invitation to hold one rave after another. Wondering why you don't have many snails in your yard? They are all here mating like rabbits. It was not just one snail here and there, it was the snail version of Manhattan. Millions of snails on one small piece of land. I even found them in one of my rose bushes - which I find very odd. So I broke down and purchased chemical snail bait - and (here is how disturbingly co-dependent I am) actually felt sorry for them when I saw a couple of them cross the dreaded black like and foam up and die. The idea of drowning in beer seemed not so bad - since how much alcohol would it take for a snail to be completely drunk? Then they won't notice they are dying - right?
The other problem I was having was equipment failure. My gardening shears and my large shovel both seemed to have disappeared - so I was pruning my bushes and perennials with loppers about three feet long and trying to dig up rose bush roots with a small little trowel. I felt as comical as I am sure I looked- and will just have to break down and purchase some new tools. I think in the past few years I have purchased 4 or 5 sets of gardening shears. Where do they go? Are they with all the missing socks? And the rate at which I lose them seems to directly correlate to the amount of money I spent on the shears. More expensive? They will disappear by weeks end. But possibly, come fall my yard will be looking spectacular...unless the snails stage a revolt.